Hello once again,
Welcome back this week. Today I wanted to address the feelings of loneliness and disconnect from others. This is something that I’ve struggled with for years and years. It’s something that I’ve wanted to fix for so long but never really knew where to start. I’ve been trying lately to both be more mindful of the thoughts that fuel my loneliness, and trying to make more effort to build healthy relationships with others.
One thing which took me a long time to realize is the difference between being alone and being lonely. I’ve experienced both being alone and being lonely. Anyone who knows me really well knows that I am an introvert;I draw energy from having time alone. Something else that I recognize is that I also really crave that deeper connection with others. What wise mind tells me is that I need a balance between the two.
So I decided to take a bit of a step back and analyze the thoughts that come into my mind when I feel disconnected from others. Some of my common recurring ones are “I don’t feel like I fit in”, “My thoughts seem strange compared to others”, “nobody wants to be around someone like me who has depression”, ” I deserve to be alone and lonely”. I allowed myself to simply observe the thoughts, acknowledge that they were there, and gently let them pass.
After they pass, I allow myself time to purposefully think kind and reassuring thoughts to myself. I try and treat myself the way I would when comforting a dear friend. I gently tell myself things like “you’re being really harsh towards yourself”, “other people probably feel the same way you do”, “everyone has lovable qualities, you’re kind and sensitive towards others”, etc… I also allow myself time that I can use to build connection with others, such as time volunteering and blogging about my own mental health, because I always feel most connected when I’m sharing myself with others.
Hope this helps, and have a lovely Easter,